Blah time

I'm a little maudalin tonight. Of course, I've been a little maudalin a lot lately. Part of it was being sick, (I'm feeling much better-thanks) and part of it is work related, (the new lady started, she seems OK so far.), but a large part of it is a case of the blahs.

"Up" is not my natural state- contrary to any evidence otherwise. My normal default setting is best described as a neutral/withdrawn, buried somewhere in the depths of my mind where I wander until I get bumped up into the external realm. My mind doesn't wander so much as it sinks. This usually isn't an issue, because I'll come out and play fairly readily. But lately....

I'm finding it really hard to really "get into" anything. I've had passing interests, flashes of focus that basically fall into the "bright and shiny" category. Blink-and-you-missed-it, but it was cool for awhile type things. Add to that a case of the "I wants" and I'm having some very bitter thoughts.

What makes it worse is that I'm very aware of my blahs, and I have a really hard time passing them sometimes. I kinda hunker down inside my mind, feel bad that I'm just letting things slide, and wait...

I think I really just need that vacation I have coming up. Everyone's been asking me if I'm going to visit my folks, and look at me kinda odd when I say I'm just staying in. I think my friends get that I just want to be alone, but I tell people at work and they think I'm a bad child, not going to see ma and pa.

I just want to ignore the world and deny my own existence for awhile. Can it be any simpler?

P.S. I'm turning off the comment option on this post (I think) so please don't go to other entries to tell me, well, whatever you might tell me to make me feel better. It is just a case of the blahs, and it will go away. This is just a statement of this weeks issues. Seriously, hugs and kisses to all, I will be fine.